Terry Dresbach

Outlander Costume Designer

My mother said…

16

My mother first met Ron in the driveway of my home, for about 5 minutes. The usual first meeting. “Mom, this is Ron. Ron, this is my mother, Maggie.” A couple of pleasantries, and he was away.

Unbeknownst to me, my mother was in the early stages of dementia. Hard to tell, as she had a brilliant, brilliant mind.

Anyway, after he drove away, she turned and punched me in the arm. What was that for?

“First of all you never told me he was so handsome!”

He was? How could I not have seen that? Of course he was. But I was so hopelessly smitten, with HIM, I somehow had not really clocked that. (Funny to think of now, twelve years later, when he can walk into a room, and I am smitten all over again)

But then she really let loose.

“Something like this does not happen to most people. Most people go their entire lives without ever finding this kind of love. This just doesn’t happen everyday. And when two people as special, and as unusual as the two of you, ¬†are lucky enough to find each other, it is your absolute RESPONSIBILITY, to do whatever it takes, to move heaven and earth to be together. You owe it to all the people who will never have such an opportunity!”

I stood there stunned. She had met him for 5 minutes.

But my mother had an almost eery ability to read people. I think she was part of a long line of “witches”.

Because the the creeping dementia, it was one of the last times she was so forceful and so absolute about something.

As usual, she was right.

Happy Valentines Day, Ron Moore.

16 thoughts on “My mother said…

  1. Katiscotch22Katiscotch22

    Momma knew best….what a lovely story. Yep, anyone who finds someone who cares more for you than they do for themselves is lucky. I consider myself lucky!!!

  2. Susan53Susan53

    Awww . . . sniff. I love how you told that, felt like I was standing next to your mother, cheering her on. We are creatures whose greatest power is love, and all the transformative possibilities of that lifts us all. Your experience with Ron, and your willingness to share it with us, are like ripples in the great pond. Happy Valentine’s Day to you both.

  3. AvatarChristinePincince

    Thank you for trusting us with this glimpse into your deep true heart. and so, how perfect that you are both so intimately involved in bringing to life, as only the two of you could with your deepest understanding, a love story so rare and yet complex as you are so wonderfully doing for us . Could there be more proof that are no accidents in the universe? Your momma knew that.

  4. AvatarConnie Sandlin

    What an amazing, bittersweet memory. The bitter being the pain of losing your mom’s essential self, the sweet being that she recognized and appreciated that you had found your heart’s home in Ron, before her awareness of your great fortune was lost.

    Terry, you and Ron are my couples crush. I admire you and truly appreciate how you share with those who find you a singular, amazing woman.

  5. Avataroesgwynedd

    How utterly beautiful. And, how uncanny our mothers, whom we always knew, we knew more than them (little did we know) were always so right.

    My mom tried to warn me against mine always calling him a “damned yankee” until the day she died….. God rest her, and yes she had dementia and alzheimers as well.

    You are so wonderfully blessed……… and yes, i do envy anyone finding that type of love.

    I’ve given up hope of ever finding anyone with the emotions and commitment you describe.

    Happy Valentines day to the two of you. Our Outlander true lovers!

  6. Purl99Purl99

    It does happen: My mother introduced me to my husband waaaaay back in 1980, he worked across the hall from her and would come in and chat and use the copy machine from time to time. She would talk about me and tell me about him. Of course I was not interested…who would be interested in someone their mother liked. Really? Suffice to say we finally were introduced about a year later. It was my husband’s eyes I was drawn too first (most women make comment about his eyes) they were honest and kind. We had a date about a week later and the rest as they say is history…almost 34 years of history to be exact. I love him more every year…he is kind, loyal loving and honest. Who could ask for more.?

  7. AvatarLynnLouise

    A Very Beautiful story! My mother was another who could recognize what was right for her daughters very quickly… and for that I feel very blessed. It is rare and lovely to find that true love and to have other’s see it as well so early on… Thank you for sharing such heart felt stories with us…

  8. AvatarSouthern Scribe

    Your re-telling of when your mother first met Ron has me in tears. My mother has NH Lymphoma and she was sharp as a tack, witty, kept up with current events and never met a person that she did not remember their birthday – freaky. Towards the end the cancer had robbed her of her beautiful, quirky and remarkable mind. People that didn’t know her would have that “look” like “Oh, the poor thing” and pat my hand. She was in there and I’m sure she was giving them the finger. It just made me want to bitch-slap the person into the next wall. Until you have a loved one slowly slip away from you don’t freaking pat my hand and say, “I’ll pray for you” or some other bull crap. I have worked at a hospice for 6 years and there are so many family members that say, “They just gave up.” It’s all I can do to remain calm. No, idiot they are dying and what you are seeing is the natural dying process and hospice makes it possible for it to be as painless as possible. Okay, I’ll get off my soap box, the anniversary of my mother’s death was February 12th. Anyway, your post was spot on and I’m am truly very sorry for the loss of your mother.

  9. AvatarSouthern Scribe

    Your re-telling of when your mother first met Ron has me in tears. My mother had NH Lymphoma and she was sharp as a tack, witty, kept up with current events and never met a person that she did not remember their birthday – freaky. Towards the end the cancer had robbed her of her beautiful, quirky and remarkable mind. People that didn’t know her would have that “look” like “Oh, the poor thing” and pat my hand. She was in there and I’m sure she was giving them the finger. It just made me want to slap the person into the next room. Until you have a loved one slowly slipping away from you, don’t pat my hand and say, “I’ll pray for you” or some other sentiment. I have worked at a hospice for 6 years and there are so many family members that say, “They just gave up.” It’s all I can do to remain calm. No, idiot they are dying and what you are seeing is the natural dying process and hospice makes it possible for it to be as painless as possible. Okay, I’ll get off my soap box, the anniversary of my mother’s death was February 12th. Anyway, your post was spot on and I’m am truly very sorry for the loss of your mother.

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