[quote quote=4144]I’ve read of people saying that he (SH) takes it all in jest, and plays along, and that somehow makes it ok. I am then reminded of all the times I played along with something hurtful to avoid having to confront the person doing it. The sexist jokes in a male dominated career, the ‘get in the kitchen’ jokes by my ex-husband’s family, and comments about my height and relative location of my breast in comparison to my shorter male friends. No matter how much I laughed and brushed it off, it had an altering effect on my sense of worth/self. While our experiences are vastly different, even taking into account the historical oppression of women throughout the world, I still feel that there is a strong vein of similarity. How many times have we seen Actors that are usually very understanding and open with their fans, slowly start to pull away from public contact. Some going so far as to leave the fan scene all together. I don’t understand why it can’t be as simple as “doing something hurtful to another human being, isn’t ok?” Consent matters, don’t touch another person’s body without consent, this includes lifting their kilt. Maybe I just have a deep seated sense of personal boundaries that keeps me from fathoming doing more than shaking a strangers hand. Even then, I think twice.
I’ve really enjoyed reading everyone’s responses to this prompt, it’s refreshing to see an open and non-judgemental dialog about this.
Appreciate Everything, Regret Nothing,
Crystal aka CelticGlamazon
What you said. This brings to my mind another sexist issue going on on Twitter right now. Some of you may have heard of it. Females in the online gaming community are being harassed by a group of game fans to the extent of death threats and rape threats which have caused at least three women to have to leave their homes and one of them to cancel a lecture at Utah State university yesterday because of a threat of a mass shooting if she spoke. The last incident has now brought mainstream media attention to the issue. The relevance I see is that a renegade group of fans has been stifling female voices for quite some time now while the more rational gaming fans have sat back and not supported them, but rather, they have ignored them and not called them out on the behavior. This week many of the male voices who are prominent in the gaming community have finally spoken up in no uncertain terms condemning the behavior of the GamerGater’s. Maybe it will help – I certainly hope so but it should never have gotten as far as it it has.
That is way more serious than what is going on in the Outlander fandom but it is on the same spectrum – essentially dehumanizing another human. I am guilty of ignoring the “ass” posts and comments but I have avoided the sites or posts about it instead of speaking up. So maybe we all need to take a breath and grit our teeth and make a point of not going along with what is being said and done. I have been the target of fan ugliness on the internet in the past and really don’t want to go there, but I hate to see women acting like the men who objectify us. Dropping down to the other side’s level is not the way to go in my mind. We need to set a higher standard or we have absolutely no right to complain when it is done to us.
What do all of you think? How can we go about speaking up in a way that will be heard? Maybe we start by going to the feeds of those who have posted here and who are getting the ugly feedback and supporting them in a calm, rational and respectful way? I want to believe that most Outlander fans are not really meaning harm by what they are doing but are just caught up in the mass hysteria without thinking about the real people on the other side of it – Sam and Catriona (whose physical attributes have been hurtfully and/or insultingly discussed in some posts I’ve seen). If they stop to think about what they are doing I would hope they would see the problem. There will always be those who just don’t get it but I don’t believe ( don’t want to believe) they are the majority.