Terry Dresbach

Outlander Costume Designer

Reply To: On the Objectification of Sam, et al. PART II (added per the request of Terry)

Home Outlander Costuming Discussion Forums General Outlander Discussion On the Objectification of Sam, et al. PART II (added per the request of Terry) Reply To: On the Objectification of Sam, et al. PART II (added per the request of Terry)

#8010
TerriP
Participant

I see the world through my life experiences just like you do. Thank you for recognizing that we have lived different lives but I don’t think its fair to say that I have a dark filter. I’m assuming Terry posted this blog because they were looking for assistance. I guess you took it as an appeal for unmitigated support or an opportunity to express your adulation. I’m sure your support or adulation is appreciated but I think it would be nice if you recognized that criticism can be a little more helpful and actually is respectful. I respect these people enough to be honest. If I didn’t like and respect them I wouldn’t have said a thing. They question was asked, I saw some mistakes he was making so… It’s okay.

I see you approaching the internet from within your bubble as well. As a result, you’ve made various assumptions. You cannot assume that others know he was joking simply because you believe he was joking. Also, it isn’t fair to refer to people as “older women who should know better.” That’s a value judgement that will get you in trouble online. You assumed she was being “cheeky” and thus that his response was “cheeky” too. That isn’t the only possible interpretation of that exchange. For all I know, for example, he’s like millions of other men and he likes older women. That is the life experience of older women who make passes at younger men so his response is going to be interpreted differently by them. “The Graduate” is a thing. Its not my thing, but for others…. You have to understand that everyone is online. Not just you. If those aren’t your monkeys and its not your circus the way to handle it is not to respond. He can literally train his fans to interact with him any way he wants to just by choosing which questions he is willing to answer.

Just because he has used social media for many years doesn’t mean he knows what he is doing. He’s a professional actor not an internet communications specialist. It was very obvious that he did not realize that by publishing his personal stuff online (twitter) he was opening his private life up to the public. He seemed to think that reporters looking at his twitter history was somehow “digging into someone’s personal life.” It’s not. He published his personal life on twitter sandwiched between promotions for his professional projects. I’m not sure how he expected people to look at his projects and not his personal pics and home videos. I assumed he made those mistakes because no one told him – so I’ve tried to tell him. His private life keeps coming up because he brought it up. He will have to deal with that for a while and in the meantime never ever post a personal item again.

He wanted to know how to handle the objectification issue. It was obvious to me, from the outside, why the objectification got out of hand. Part of it was the marketing of Outlander and part of it was things he had done. The video – yes. That made him look like he was into objectification. Also, sometimes when he talks about women in interviews he will say things like “she’s a blonde,” or, “she has nice legs.” Those kinds of answers are common with men his age but he needs to up his level of consciousness if he’s going to set the right tone. Describing women in terms of body parts goes beyond objectification. It actually gets into dehumanization. If he does not want to be dehumanized or objectified he cannot do it to others.

Basically, if he wants to solve the problem he has to set boundaries and look at his own behavior in a thoughtful and objective manner. He has to set the tone. He cannot blame others. That won’t solve anything.

If it makes you feel better, I was one of those who took a lot of crap from folks for complaining about STARZ marketing Sam as a sexual object. I’ll tell you what… some of those ladies were so soaked with hormones it was scary. A few of them chased me around Facebook posting dirty pics on my page and breaking in on my conversations with friends and family with explicit allegations and comments on my prudery for days. I will go to the mat for Sam, or anyone else who is going through that kind of treatment if needed, but I won’t worship his stupid ass when he’s being stupid. I just do not see worship as helpful and I don’t think that it is fair to attack me for being who I am.