Terry Dresbach

Outlander Costume Designer

Reply To: On the Objectification of Sam, et al. PART II (added per the request of Terry)

Home Outlander Costuming Discussion Forums General Outlander Discussion On the Objectification of Sam, et al. PART II (added per the request of Terry) Reply To: On the Objectification of Sam, et al. PART II (added per the request of Terry)


He isn’t responsible for the weirdo’s. No one ever said he was. What he is responsible for is poking the weirdo’s on purpose and then complaining about their reaction. I can pop on over to Facebook right now and get some death and rape threats just by going to certain pages and expressing an opinion that you probably wouldn’t think is at all controversial. I am female. It’s easy. I’m not responsible for their attitude and if I’m not trying to provoke them, just commenting on my own news feed and having someone I don’t know intrude, I’m not to blame. However, if I poke them on purpose I am responsible for that. I know full well what I’m doing so it would be ridiculous for me to complain about the death and rape threats I tried to get. If you poke a bear you can’t complain when it bites.

I saw that video and I was one of the ones who demanded it be taken down. I knew what it would do. I knew she would get threats – and she did. That was my primary concern but it wasn’t the only concern I had. He opened the door to his personal life endangering his own safety and he made himself look like a cad in terms of his consideration of her safety and what it says about his attitude towards women in general. Thus he attracted some unsavory characters as well as gave his tacit permission for bad behavior on his account. He may not have meant to do that, he may not even be that kind of person, but he did give that impression in a huge venue because he wasn’t thinking of the consequences of retweeting that video. If he doesn’t accept responsibility for that mistake and tries to blame those reacted he will probably repeat that mistake in the future. Video’s like that are objectification, by definition, when posted on twitter (the venue matters in terms of definition). He should have anticipated the response he got because it was very obvious it was coming. What happened was entirely predictable.

Anyone who tries to interact with social media from within their own bubble is going to have problems. Social media gives one the opportunity to have a voice in the universe. It’s very tempting to to feel omnipotent. To shout unapologetically who you are and that you are here – present, powerful, having opinions, skills, feelings, that you matter and what you say and do is right and good, that you swim in pools with beautiful women, and sometimes you shit or get randy… But that omnipotence is an illusion because there are other people (whether you think they are valid or valuable or not) in that universe and they too have things to say and every right to say them. If you act like an ass, whether you mean to or not, the universe will know. Kim Kardashian, for example, is followed by a lot of people but most of them follow her because she is a super sized narcissistic ass – not because she is respected (I doubt she’ll ever know though – pretty sure she thinks she’s good). Social media is not about projection. It’s a reflection. It reflects who you are and if you aren’t careful with the image you project into it it will reflect the ugliest parts of you. That isn’t the mirrors fault – its yours. If you assume its the mirrors fault you’ll come off as a narcissist even if you aren’t self aware enough to realize people are not actually respecting you. Social media cannot be tamed. It cannot be bent to your will. You must bend to its will or look like a fool.

I’ve studied social media for many years now. It is not based on hierarchy. The number of followers you have isn’t an indication of your worth. It just indicates how many people are paying attention to you and the nature of that attention can be negative. Social media is anarchic in the truest sense. There are no rulers. That does not mean there are no rules btw. There are rules and those who understand those rules can manipulate it. It’s amazing how the anarchists have managed to insert themselves, their message, and their issues into mainstream media through the manipulation of social media. They can’t be stopped. Just think about the rapid evolution of gay rights and awareness of police brutality. That was social media.

One of the most important rules for social media use is to always be your best self. That takes thought and the ability to learn from mistakes. To understand that there is almost always an element of truth in the criticism you receive, no matter what you think of the messenger, and that the criticism itself gives you an opportunity to admit some painful truths to yourself, become a better person, or a more effective communicator. I still see the chip on Sam’s shoulder sometimes but he does seem to be coming along. He can be taught! (unlike poor Kimmy)