Terry Dresbach

Outlander Costume Designer

Reply To: The Big "O" Part Deux: Giving VS. Receiving


Photomom, me too! I’m in my late 40s, married for 12 years, and before my husband I can count on one finger the number of boyfriends/lovers who would “do for me” without expecting anything in return. I’m lucky that my husband will do it occasionally. But here’s another thing: I think a lot of women feel guilty if they allow themselves to have an orgasm and the man not have one, like they don’t have a right to be pleasured with no strings attached. And so many women will give a man a bj with no thought whatsoever that they will get anything in return. What is so interesting about that scene in E11 is that Jamie is doing it for so many emotional reasons–to pleasure her, and to watch and remember. It brought back the line from earlier in the book when he says, and I’m paraphrasing, that it’s wonder and a joy that he can make her body rouse to his. I was thinking about that line as I watched the scene, that it was such a bittersweet joy for him at that moment as he gave her pleasure.