Terry Dresbach

Outlander Costume Designer

Reply To: On the Objectification of Sam, et al. PART II (added per the request of Terry)

Home Outlander Costuming Discussion Forums General Outlander Discussion On the Objectification of Sam, et al. PART II (added per the request of Terry) Reply To: On the Objectification of Sam, et al. PART II (added per the request of Terry)

#6036
barbc624
Participant

[quote quote=6025]arb, a lot of good stuff there, and two points I’d like to comment on specifically.

I agree that we should not and treat men this way. I have two boys, and I constantly tell them that they need to think of every debate we have ever had before they reduce any woman to a body and discount her mind. That said, I don’t think another person’s behavior gives permission for or excuses anyone to disrespect me and discount my personhood. Not sure if that is what you were saying, but I wanted to put it out there.

It’s hard. I don’t want to preach, so I just try to be supportive. In Spanish we say, caras vemos, corazones no sabemos. We see faces, but we don’t know hearts.[/quote]

I

    absolutely

agree with you that respect for each other is paramount. That is why I try very hard (and don’t always succeed) to make it clear that it is

    not

the person I am critiquing but the behavior. Good people can and do sometimes behave badly, and often all it takes is for them to stop is to realize it. The hard part in a fandom like this is that there are those who don’t have an understanding of what and why they are doing is problematic, and they encourage behavor that is questionable. Then others get caught up in it without thinking. In that case I see it as the responsibility of those who do see the issues to at least put it out there for thought that maybe what is happening is not a good thing.

And you are right -it is hard to find the best way to say things without preaching. We had that discussion on the original Objectification of Sam thread and I think the consensus is that we can only try to do our best to have a dialogue that is respectful and open and hoepfully leads to a better understanding on both sides. The internet makes it both more difficult and at once easier than it can be in person so that is a challenge we are all dealing with.