Terry Dresbach

Outlander Costume Designer

Reply To: On the Objectification of Sam, et al. PART II (added per the request of Terry)

Home Outlander Costuming Discussion Forums General Outlander Discussion On the Objectification of Sam, et al. PART II (added per the request of Terry) Reply To: On the Objectification of Sam, et al. PART II (added per the request of Terry)

#6025
conniebv
Participant

Barb, a lot of good stuff there, and two points I’d like to comment on specifically.

My concern is that as a woman I hate hate HATE to see other women perpetuating the behavior that we call men out on. If we don’t want to be treated that way, or want our daughters to be treated that way, then we cannot turn around and do the same thing to men. That right there, demolishes our arguments against the behavior. If we expect men to treat us with respect than we must do the same to them. That is the crux of why I believe it needs to be called out when we see it happening.

I agree that we should not and treat men this way. I have two boys, and I constantly tell them that they need to think of every debate we have ever had before they reduce any woman to a body and discount her mind. That said, I don’t think another person’s behavior gives permission for or excuses anyone to disrespect me and discount my personhood. Not sure if that is what you were saying, but I wanted to put it out there.

The other thing I see happening in the fandom that I really dislike is the competition among fans to be recognized by the actors and/or those associated with the show. I feel like there are those fans who actively pursue the OL team’s notice by responding to every single tweet Sam, or Cait, or Terry, or Diana, or Matt Roberts, or whoever, makes, no matter what the subject and the fans actual interest in it. Then, when the object of their response favorites or responds back, there is a public jubilation ceremony to make sure everyone knows about it. Hello, the people you are tweeting to are people like you. Very talented and nice people, but they aren’t any better than that friend you’ve known for 20 years who is a stay at home mom, or maybe a hard working professional in some non glamourous profession. If you have a real interest in common with them then go for it ( e.g the costumers and knitters who want to converse with Terry for the sake of her techincal knowledge and her willingness to share it with them, not just because she is the costume designer for OL).

Yeah… this one hits home for me. I am Twitter friends with both types. When I started doing my recaps, there were people who BOMBARDED the cast with them, and then came to tell me and I cringed, because really, I don’t want to be a bother. I love and appreciate it when Diana tells me I am funny so I post links to her page so she knows they’re out there, but then I just withdraw into my cave. I know several just like me, we just tweet each other and are pretty happy.
I also know fans that are relentless and I have spoken to them about how it’s okay if they don’t get retweeted that week or day or whatever, that the cast is busy, that they are already really engaged… I have a lot of feeling for them, they love the show so much. Sometimes it is the one bright spot in an otherwise dull life, the thing that gets them out of bed and so I don’t want to judge, but I do worry for them.

It’s hard. I don’t want to preach, so I just try to be supportive. In Spanish we say, caras vemos, corazones no sabemos. We see faces, but we don’t know hearts.