Terry Dresbach

Outlander Costume Designer

Reply To: On Objectification of Sam, et al

#5954
conniebv
Participant

*sigh* Okay, I have a lot of thoughts about this.
First, let me say that I agree with the basic tenets of this, and have always abided by them: I don’t body shame, I don’t get personal, and I try my best to phrase things in a way that I would accept hearing. My experience in the fandom has been almost 100% positive, and maybe it’s because I try to make people laugh. But there are exceptions.

What I do get TONS of is other adults telling me their opinions on others’ behavior, and while I agree that we are all entitled to an opinion, I can tell you that if the purpose of that opinion is to open a dialogue where the opposing side thinks your side has any value, articles like this are NOT the way. The first half is fine, and then it takes a turn.

Don’t write an article speaking about respect and then imply that the women you are speaking about fantasize about the actor or the character because of the state of their marriage. Think about the comparisons you are making to institutionalized sexism and misogyny and maybe don’t oversimplify those very complex issues in service of your argument. Blanket statements like “Don’t kid yourself, you are part of the problem” are more of a slap on the wrist than a respectful invitation to dialogue.

I’m just a rabid feminist man, and I really wish we would be as respectful of others as we demand. ALL others. Even ones we disagree with, because if we don’t, it will always be us vs. them, where one side gets to be righteous and one is wrong and that’s not a club I want to join. I don’t think in those terms.

Sorry for the soapbox rant. Ya hit me right in the idealism.

  • This reply was modified 7 years, 4 months ago by conniebv.