Terry Dresbach

Outlander Costume Designer

Reply To: Thread of RAGE


[quote quote=5016]Thanks everyone for allowing me to be bossy about moving this! The other thread won’t open on my phone anymore!

I have the same rage as everyone else but then there’s this:

My husband was in a frat. it was a ‘good’ frat, a nerd frat. In fact, it was a co-ed frat (of all things). My husband is a good man, he is a good father, he would tell you that he’s a feminist.

When I was reading this article this morning and started crying and he asked why. i told him and told him frats were a HUGE FUCKING PART of the problem. A system that excludes women is a problem. A system that allows frats to openly serving alcohol to minors it is a problem. He, of course, got defensive. And that, my friends, is rape culture. AND IT IS MY HUSBAND. the man I love is defending institutions that are ruining the lives of women.

Seriously, my heart is breaking.

Somehow my other answer was erased.
Rachel, I know this sounds cliche, but don’t blame all frat institutions for the nastiness of this one. I’m sure there are more like the one in the article – but for every bad one, there have to be 3 more that are good – like your husbands.
I have never belonged to any Greek life (for all sorts of reasons), so don’t take me for a Delta Delta Delta defender. Matter of fact, I have a very negative attitude toward them. BUT, what your husband is doing isn’t defending a masochistic institution. He is defending HIS particular memories and experiences, which obvs, weren’t like the UVA frat.
I know I’m poking my nose where it probably doesn’t belong, but go soft on the hubs. You’re coloring his defense in broad strokes. ((hugs))