Terry Dresbach

Outlander Costume Designer

Reply To: The Big O


Jumping out of lurkerdom…

Women have to own their orgasms. I am almost 51, been married 32 years, have 6 kids. Fully in the throws of perimenopause. And on antidepressants off & on. Several years ago hubby was doing his best, because he likes to watch me go first, and I knew it wasn’t going to happen, so I faked it. So he could have his fun and go to sleep.

I realized that I was passive during much of this and needed to figure out a way to get there quicker. So positions I thought I would never try, I did, and a trip or 2 two to the local Lover’s store for some electrical devices…

Use toys, your fingers, his , whatever, but it isn’t your partner’s job alone to get you to an orgasm. Once we both figured this out, the experimenting became as much of a turn on as getting there, and orgasms came faster. Plus, since I can orgasm several times, he is once again happy to try to get me to as much as possible before his turn.