Terry Dresbach

Outlander Costume Designer

Reply To: OUTLANDER ISSUES ****SPOILER ALERT****

#3816
julieis
Participant

In response to a man’s idea of possessing a woman or owning a woman: I think men and women think about this differently and we are not very far away from our biological ancestors. When my ex and I would walk in to a room where other men were, he would in a very affected way, come over and kiss me. I would whisper in his ear “why don’t you just urinate on me to show all the boys, I’m yours! We both have a good sense of humor and had a good chuckle over it, but he never failed to do this. I never felt the need to show that kind of ownership in front of other women. We were committed to each other and it was clear to me that everyone could see that.
But young men I don’t think have the deep conversations about women that we women have about men. I worked with a young man from South Africa, and became his mentor. We had a very open conversation about male and female roles and relationships. I talked to him about all the things his mother probably couldn’t, and his father didn’t. He told me when he got married some day, he was going to have the right to have sex with his wife when ever he felt like it. I was driving and had to pull the car over! I had to reign my emotions in to get my point across, that his mate is not his property. I spent the next hour+ talking this one topic out with him about relationships, and where could he have gotten that notion about all this. It gets me going just writing about it. He was a great listener as I don’t believe anyone had taken the time to be this frank with him about a man and a woman.
Jamie is a man with little sexual, and female relationship experience up to the wedding night. Being master to Claire and wanting to own/possess her is perhaps what men actually got to do in those times, but I think most men realize it’s not a simple thing to be all that to a woman. If I want ye, I will take ye; well good luck with all that.
Men also have that need of approval of their woman (originating from their mom) so the man needs to learn the dance if he wants a happy wife. Happy wife, happy life.
DG understands sexual tension and relationship deeply, and she knows how to write about it to make us all crazy with those related emotions.