I agree with the earlier advice to find a community – a network of people who can empathize and help. It’s always easier to take on tough things with a support network. And, they might end up helping you find a way to a different firm/role, if it turns out where you are is untenable.
Press recently around the whole issue of women being evaluated differently in the workplace, and the terms that show up in performance evaluations for women but not men. I’ve been there, too. #bossy #aggressive etc … and some workplaces are different than others. I worked in management consulting/public accounting in a group with 1 female partner in the Boston office, and national/global org that had been successfully sued for not making a woman partner because she was a woman. (Partners took it seriously, because it hit their wallets directly.)
Anyway, I ultimately left – not because of gender issues, but because making partner wasn’t worth the sacrifices I’d have had to make. Landed in the tech organization of a financial services company, with a female CIO and pretty gender-balanced technology leadership team. It was a great place to work. So, sometimes the grass is actually greener, and a good network may help you determine that, if nothing else.