Terry Dresbach

Outlander Costume Designer



[quote quote=3786]I am hardly a traditional woman, and I consider myself a proud feminist. But I am going to end up taking care of kids and home, more than my husband, because those things come more naturally to me, because I AM A WOMAN. He, on the either hand is going to take care of another list of tasks and responsibilities that come more naturally to him because HE IS A MAN. As long as the overall workload of our lives is equally balanced, then I could give a shit about who cooks more.

Feminism is strong, elastic and big enough to encompass this exact experience. It also can include experiences that dont fall within the binary of man and woman. I have lots of gender queer and trans friends who have taught me much on the subject . My feminism has to include a discussion of gender-it has to challenge the binary of man/woman because if it only focuses on giving women quality with men, we miss out on the many folks who don’t fall in that binary.

My friend Sam is a gender queer fellow (born a “woman”) who doesn’t identify as man or woman, doesn’t even identify as a trans-man. He goes by “he” to make it easier to operate in a world obsessed with the lie of he/she. His right to equal pay, equal rights to marriage, access to medical care and the ability to walk through the world with JUST as much agency as any cis-gendered man, is to me, a huge part of the feminist movement.

I totally agree with this and I think feminism has evolved to reflect this and encompass the diversity of gender identity. On the issue of gender roles and norms and going back to the traditional, I’m going through an inner battle at the moment.

I’m a lawyer in a field that has been tailored predominately by white heterosexual men. As a woman and a visible minority, it’s been quite the struggle in fighting notions that I’m not “tough” enough because I don’t take an aggressive, “manly” approach towards certain positions/issues. I approach them in ways that are considered “feminine”. When I’m able to bring about the same result or a better result than from what is considered to be an aggressive, antagonistic one, it’s still considered to be a major flaw, even though I’ve been told I’m a very good and effective lawyer. So, do I have to “act like a man” and shed my “feminine qualities” in order to get any respect? And yet, when I take an assertive approach to certain positions/issues, then I’m dealing with the perception of being too aggressive, a “bitch”, vs. being firm and assertive. I can never win. I’ve been told by a senior woman lawyer that it’s going to take at least 10 years of hard work to finally get the respect you deserve in this field and yet my male colleagues don’t have to deal with this battle. It’s lose lose, either you’re too soft or too aggressive. Sorry, that’s my rant for the day.

  • This reply was modified 7 years, 7 months ago by sonyakhanum.