Terry Dresbach

Outlander Costume Designer



I’ve never really thought about it, but I was raped when I was 12. Precocious, already liking boys, menstruating, and with boobs, but definitely not a woman. It was rape, to be sure, but it was also seduction. Wrong on every level, but seduction (probably some sort of fine line between pederasty and rape at the age I was–I was definitely above the age of reason, but still a girl).

But then opposite of what you just said after that I would put out for pretty much anyone I liked (thankfully no one else ever tried to force or demand from me) because I was already “ruined” so I might as well just do it. I was just the other day trying to decide when I had my first orgasm where there was another person involved and I’m going to guess it was my senior year in high school.

Once I accepted what happened as wrong, as not my fault, I became oddly at peace with it. It made me who I am today, and I rather like me. And it made me willing to fight. I’m not glad it happened, but I’m glad at who I am now.

And I have only had one cup of coffee, I’m rambling about I don’t know what.

ETA: I never told anyone, so there was no trial, no judgement other than my own. Obviously made a difference since I only had to heal myself.

  • This reply was modified 7 years, 7 months ago by rachely.