Terry Dresbach

Outlander Costume Designer



I realize that we’ve wandered a bit from the subject of rape, but I wanted to say one more thing. Feminists tend to say (someone did above, I’m sorry I don’t remember who) that rape isn’t about sex, it’s about power and control, and I do agree that that is often a strong component. But I have seen on internet discussion boards (on men’s issues or others), and also actually had men say to me some version of the idea that for a woman not to be open to sex with a man who wants it from her (He did buy her dinner!) is like someone refusing to pass the sugar bowl if he’s wanting some for his cereal. There really is, in some men, a disconnect between the idea that it’s another human being’s body they’re wanting the use of, and it isn’t to be bought (except for our sisters who may or may not have the choice to sell). So sometimes a rape is really about a boy or a man taking the sex that he thinks he has a right to, and/or that it’s OK because it’s really not such a big deal for the female involved.