I’m really really sorry for how closely you’ve had to deal with rape in your life. I can only imagine what you and family have had to climb back from and live with. I don’t know how I would deal without great vehemence, myself. I’m sorry if I offended you with my marveling about Jamie’s attack, if it belittled in any way what you have battled.
I don’t mean to over-focus on Jamie’s attack – My shock at Jamie’s rape in the book is more a comment on the lack of anything seen (like almost zero male skin) regarding a male body on a screen. I’m shocked by any rape, but especially this one in print, because I rarely see that in stories – not that I want to, but the little we see of male rape on TV speaks to the imbalance of what we see in terms of skin: by square inch, woman skin always outweighs man skin. I don’t WANT the men or women in my life to endure rape – it’s a nightmare to think of at all. I don’t want to see more of ANY rape on screens just because it’s part of a real life statistic. Are men, just as women, forced to face the vulnerability that rape causes by seeing rape portrayed on a screen? Who mentioned that her legs involuntarily snapped together as an instinctive response to Claire’s first almost-rape? What will my husband do when he sees Claire attacked or sees what Jamie endures (as you guys portray it)? Is it possible that as a culture we are desensitized to rape because it doesn’t happen to men as often, so they aren’t forced to deal with the reality of vulnerability and violation? And then as women, are we not producing more films to tell that part of our story from our perspective, as this show is doing? Or is there a push-back from a male-dominated production industry that doesn’t want to see male rape when it’s “comfortable” with the rape of women and easier to show? Does Claire’s perspective and the way it was filmed help gain more sympathy and RE-sensitize us, horrifying us as we should be at every rape?
I’m just asking questions and wondering as I consider that I’ve see 2 total male rapes EVER on a screen – held up to countless rapes of women portrayed. Whether done with respect and horror or as a backdrop (GOT), it’s not to be shown on screen lightly or without respect for those who have been affected by it. I’m saying male rape is not really on shows I’m watching (and perhaps I’m avoiding the shows that are). And one last thought: if college BOYS were being raped as frequently as college women, would we need laws from on high to call an obvious NO a NO? What exactly do I want? more violence against men to even things out? Of course not. Do I want less violence against women on screens? against everyone? Of course. How does that happen by showing more violence rather than less? Does violence beget violence? Or are these scenes presenting sexual assault in a way that honors the humanity of the person violated, and helps us sympathize with them, grieving at what is being taken from them?
What an extraordinary discussion this is. Thank you all!!!!!